i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
