Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
