My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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