By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
