There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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