Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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