it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
being pregnant is like rehab
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
