Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
