We're facebook friends in real life
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You may now shotgun with the bride
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize