Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize