I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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