I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
