Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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