Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
