weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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