i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize