YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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