its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
