508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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