But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
