i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
