Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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