Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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