I wannas sexs uuuuu
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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