I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
