i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
