I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
