He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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