I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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