Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
