You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
