I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
