i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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