I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
