I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
