In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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