White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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