Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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