You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
