Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
