Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
