There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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