everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
