Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize