well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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