I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
