meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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