youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
