And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
