i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
