You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
