i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
