How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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