somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
