i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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