Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
