I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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