I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The Olympian is in my bed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
