my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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