Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We need to get me chipped asap
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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