Having a random hookup so left but love u
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
